This love I feel has flourished beyond the limits of the skies and found a heavenly blue above the clouds, but now it must turn and cast its devilish shadow upon me, weighted down under its gloom in a slow agonised darkening.
It is a hallowed grip of love eating itself from the inside, each bite of grief delights in turning nostalgia into a silent nothingness, I disassociate from all things of life around me to mourn of a future life I thought I was going to have.
As I live day-by-day each step taken is a slow motion cascade of disassociated indolent dreaming filled wistfulness and silent screams.
I browse the mental brain bank of memory and meaning whilst stuck in a place that is neither future, past nor present, yet the more I have to uncomfortably accept her choice of termination I find that my most cherished files of life must also have to become empty and void by her wishes, for them to become echoes in a deep dark cave to become less audible as the days go by, a slow fade, as if the joys of the past must be taken from me, stored for an eternity in a dusty attic from within an abandoned house that originated from a shared broken dream.
In this state of desiderium I couldn’t think of anything more fulfilling then the rekindling of a fire that lost its roaring flame, but when two boats set sail against themselves in stormy seas against the tide; where art thou pastures and dry land after such storms of emotion? Will we finally beach upon the same coasts of this world after all silence and distance is endured? Or will we rediscover new lands after the storms have settled? Time shall tell…
Oh sweet heartbreak, saudade. Only great love and great pain are balanced upon the scales of lady justice, yet she is blindfolded and will never see the beautiful mess of human reality.